“Oh, boy! The deep fryer’s here. Heh heh, I got it used from the navy. You can flash-fry a buffalo in forty seconds.” -Moe Szyslak (The Simpsons)

“Yeah, I used to be rich. I owned Mickey Mouse Massage Parlors, then those Disney sleazeballs shut me down. I said, ‘Look, I’ll change the logo, put Mickey’s pants back on!’ Pfft, some guys you just can’t reason with.” – Railroad Bridge Bum (The Simpsons)

“Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!” -Troy McClure (The Simpsons)

Best thing to happen to The Simpsons in YEARS, the “couch gag” at the end by John Kricfalusi. Behold actual funniness:

“A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.” -the Springfield town motto (The Simpsons)

 

 

 

 

“Ah, Monday morning. Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hungover drones.” -Charles Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons)

“Expand my brain, learning juice!” -Homer Simpson

Freakoutville Xpress’ tip of the hat to Matt Groening’s art: Homer & Duff Beer

(And people, check out “Dead Homer Society” on WordPress for everything you really need to know about The  Simpsons: good, bad and the fugly. Go right over there and look around! Whaddaya waiting for? Do it!)

“I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.” -Mr. Burns (The Simpsons)

“Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace ‘accidentally’ with ‘repeatedly’ and replace ‘dog’ with ‘son.’” -Lionel Hutz: (The Simpsons)

“I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. -Bart Simpson

“Oh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is “How To Increase Your Word Power.” That thing is really, really, really… good.” -Homer Simpson

“Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.” -Homer Simpson

“I am not crazy. It’s the TV that’s crazy. Aren’t you, TV?” -Homer Simpson

“Trying is the first step towards failure.” -Homer Simpson

“I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.” -Mr. Burns (The Simpsons)