“Um Dasher, Dancer… Prancer… Nixon, Comet, Cupid… Donna Dixon?” -Homer Simpson

“Let’s just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don’t, and that’s cool. But we’re probably right. Amen.” – Homer (The Simpsons)

“You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.” -Marge (The Simpsons)

“Yeah, I used to be rich. I owned Mickey Mouse Massage Parlors, then those Disney sleazeballs shut me down. I said, ‘Look, I’ll change the logo, put Mickey’s pants back on!’ Pfft, some guys you just can’t reason with.” – Railroad Bridge Bum (The Simpsons)

“Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.” -Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)

“Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as ‘Smoke Yourself Thin’ and ‘Get Some Confidence, Stupid!’” -Troy McClure (The Simpsons)

“Please do not offer my god a peanut” -Apu (The Simpsons)

“Expand my brain, learning juice!” -Homer Simpson

Freakoutville Xpress’ tip of the hat to Matt Groening’s art: Homer & Duff Beer

(And people, check out “Dead Homer Society” on WordPress for everything you really need to know about The  Simpsons: good, bad and the fugly. Go right over there and look around! Whaddaya waiting for? Do it!)

“I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.” -Mr. Burns (The Simpsons)

“Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace ‘accidentally’ with ‘repeatedly’ and replace ‘dog’ with ‘son.’” -Lionel Hutz: (The Simpsons)

“I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. -Bart Simpson